Perfection

Perfection can be a great short-term approach. It is a relentless striving to make it right. But, if you’re not careful, it is easy to confuse excellence with perfection.

Excellence does exist, perfect does not.

So, the ambition that so many of my clients have to work to attain something that doesn’t exist is crazy. It is literally crazy-making! The anxiety is typically very high in their lives because they are chasing something that isn’t attainable and too high of a standard.

Valuing precision and accuracy gets you results. Just be aware that seeking perfect compromises you. It takes a heavy psychological and physical toll.

The beauty of excellence is that it gives you permission to be messy because you are a learner. A beginner’s mind is in it for the long game. It is about being more interested in what you don’t know more than what you do know. It is okay with failure because it knows that you have to fail to succeed.

Think about your approach when you were learning how to walk. There was nothing that was going to deter you from achieving walking status. You fell often; you got weathered, bruised, and bloodied; and you never took your eye off the ball. Obstacles were everywhere and you refused to quit. You got creative. You thought outside the lines. You actually had fun with it. And you never felt like a failure. You didn’t question your failures as much as you learned from them. Why not cultivate a beginner’s mindset in everything? It has every upside, and it frees you from the prison of your mind. No more playing small. No more staying safe. No more avoiding exposure. Failure is necessary; it is the currency of your dreams. And since perfection doesn’t allow for failure, why not seek excellence?

Excellence is always available to you. High quality, precision, on point, on time, — something beautiful. It helps you achieve your goals and it maintains your health and wellness in the process. Nothing better than that! Let’s get to work, loves! xx


Why Coaching?

Why work with me? 9 reasons: 

 1. Because you are tired of feeling alone, unmotivated, anxious, insecure, stressed, and overwhelmed. You want to feel better. I can show you how without changing any of your circumstances.

2. Because you are struggling to fit in. You want to find your people and to truly belong. The opposite of belonging is fitting in. True belonging is being who you really are and not betraying yourself for other people. It requires you to be who you are. Belonging is belonging to yourself first. I can help you cultivate this.

2. Because you’d love to get along better with your parents, and you want to understand how to be in relationship with them from an authentic and healthy place. Are you in?

3. Because doing this life journey alone is lonely. Guess what? You don’t have to.

 3. Because you’d love to uncover your curiosities and gifts and learn how best to weave meaning and purpose into your day to day. We can get to work to figure things out. This is the fun part.

 4. Because you desire to have a safe space to be heard, to share your heart, and to feel seen and known. No judgment. You’ll receive guidance, yes. A perspective shift, yep. Lots of encouragement, always.

5. Because you’ve been telling yourself, “I feel overwhelmed and tired on a daily basis.” A month of coaching will help you learn how to manage your stress level and how best to care for your body, mind, and soul in the process. It is all about embodiment and aligning your head and heart. Sound good?

6. Because you’re a very busy person and you’ve spent the last many years living a checklisted life. And why? It’s time to understand your why and what drives and motivates you so that it doesn’t feel like such a slog. You can get to where you want to go from a much more clear and fortified place — no more hustling for your worth.

7. Because your spirit is craving a kinder, softer way of being. Waking up with a mindset that lifts you and doesn’t diminish you. No more believing those negative and harsh thoughts. Time to shift into a way of thinking and being that serves you and feeds you. It’s at your fingertips. Ready?

8. Because you love feeling good and you’d benefit from learning some new tools and ways of thinking and being that will get you there. It’s about building a life skill set that serves you. Yes, please.

9. Because this is it. Your one wild and precious life. And sometimes you just need to be willing to seek out help and say, “Yes” to YOU. I got you.

 See you soon, I hope.

 Xox,

Marta

Mental Toughness

I operate from the place of wanting to contribute, being an example of what is possible, and helping myself and my people embrace this life journey with gusto.

I believe that we all have an inner gift, and sharing this gift allows us to flourish. Often, life and our ego get in the way and we experience anxiety and fatigue which make it hard to express ourselves authentically and under pressure.

In order to alleviate pressure and stress, it is vital to lock into the present moment. Why? Because it is just now. You have choices to make within the now. You can choose to focus on things that can go wrong, things that can go well, or you can direct your energies to the task at hand. Being in the now creates possibility, it generates action. As I often tell my clients, being anxious and feeling stress isn’t a bad thing; in fact, it is a good sign that you care. The best way I know to both embrace the hard and the unknown is to channel your fears. When you have butterflies, recognize that as a good sign that you are doing something that matters. Instead of letting those butterflies steer you off course, get them into formation and channel them accordingly.

I just dropped off my 14 year old son, Leo, for the last exam of his 8th grade year. History is on the docket, and he happens to have a fantastic teacher who challenges and pushes Leo to bring his best each and every day. Leo feels prepared for the final but he also knows that Mr. Michaud’s exams are often hard and outside the lines of the norm so the butterflies were flying. It was beautiful to see him amped up but also actively managing his anxiety. When I asked him what his plan was if he gets distracted or feels overwhelmed, he told me that he has a rubber bracelet on his wrist that he knows to snap to get his head back in the game. Along with the snap, the thought, “I am fine — I got this” helps him stay focused. As simple as this might sound, it is brilliant because it is a ritual he is implementing to help him stay on track and perform under pressure. He is learning the internal skills to manage stress and pressure, so that whatever crosses his path, he is able to stay focused and bring his A game.

For most of us, pressure and stress constrict us in our thinking and being. The importance of recognizing this and adjusting is key. Reframing the situation helps shift perspective. Paying attention to self talk — that inner dialogue — is a skill that we all need to manage in order to flourish, especially in hard environments.

Training ourselves to approach life with optimism and a beginner’s mindset sets the stage for becoming mentally tough. Whatever crosses our path, the knowing that we will stay with it and figure it out is everything. There is a desire to learn that fuels the fire to become stronger and wiser, and this desire gives us the courage to move through our primal brain’s modus operandi which is to keep us safe. As Glennon Melton says, we can do hard things, my loves!

Life is going to go wrong in ways and areas that it will go wrong. You can bet on it. But it is in these conditions that we learn! This is where people who are mentally tough emerge. Adventure and walking into the unknown is where we find our potential. As we butt up against the edge of capacity where we are not skilled and lacking in experience, it can be messy and hard. BUT, amazingly, this is where we rise. This is where the rubber hits the road. This is where we grow. This is where we taste what is possible. This is where we flourish.

Nobody should have to do this journey alone. It is about engaging with this life and cultivating our potential while answering the question Who Am I in the process. In order to do this, you need to learn how to embrace stress and pressure, cultivate relationship with self and others, and develop the internal faculties to deal with the highs and lows and in-betweens of life.

We’re all in this together, and we are all capable of shooting for the stars. Love each other up. Challenge one another. Walk the path together. See what is possible. People have your back. Relationships matter. YOU matter. Now, get to work in cultivating optimism, a beginner’s mindset, and the internal infrastructure to rise in this life. Life is hard but you can do hard things. Cheers to becoming mentally tough and pushing to the edge of your capacity — you will grow in confidence, satisfaction, badassery, durability, and wisdom in the process. The road awaits you! oxo