My mission as a life coach for young adults and their parents is to cultivate a way of thinking and being in this world that serves them and fortifies them. It is a bit of an eye-opener and ground-shifter for people to grasp that there is another way of moving through life that isn’t about feeling so stressed-out, lonely, and overwhelmed and underwhelmed at the same time. Life doesn't have to be so difficult. Yes, life is hard, regardless of how you go about it, but I propose doing it in a way that makes the hard more meaningful, less overwhelming, and more fulfilling.
A large part of my work is creating a safe haven, an open dialogue to have the hard and raw and deep conversations about the journey of being human. Normalizing the struggle is the first step. Taking blame, guilt, victimhood and shame out of the equation is the next step. Once we clean up the narrative and re-work it so that it serves you, there is more choice in how to move forward. You are able to live more consciously, and less out of default mode. You choose your mindset. You choose your actions. Regardless of the life circumstance, you get to choose what you make it mean and how you want to respond to it. It is less reactive mode and more responsive mode.
What kinds of thoughts and beliefs create the feelings necessary to generate actions and behaviors that get you the results that you want in life? When you believe that you are not enough, or that if people see you for who you really are, they will reject you, this kind of thinking only perpetuates the belief that you are not enough. Why? Because when you think this way, you feel insecure and small, and when you feel small, you act small. It’s a self fulfilling prophecy. Why not consider thinking that you are a human being, like everyone else, and if you are not good at something, instead of hiding and giving up, how about thinking that you are going to figure it out? Commit to having your own back. Believe in yourself and trust the process. Seek out help where needed. Trial and error. Try try again. The only way that we get better at anything is by practice. Confidence and resilience doesn’t just drop into our lap. We have to earn it. Grow it. WIth discipline and the “I got this mentality”, most things are possible. This approach creates more hope and motivation which in turn generates action, curiosity, and drive on your part. When you have that going for you, the result will certainly be different than staying small and staying safe.
For our young people, answering the question Who Am I? is at the heart of their developmental work and it can be wrought with insecurity and discomfort. Reminding them that they are exactly where they are meant to be can be reassuring and soften their anxiety. The only way to gain confidence is to grow in competence so pave the way for them to grow and learn and figure things out without doing the work for them. It might be messy at times but it’s all good.
Take it one step at a time. Be a model for what is possible. Love them, support them, guide them, walk with them, and believe in them. These ingredients are the fuel that they need, and remind them that this life adventure is the breeding ground for creating something beautiful. Time to get to work, my people! xx
#welcometobeinghuman #lifeishard #lifeissweet #becurious #haveyourownback #chooseyourmindset #rockitout